*Note: I would like to point out that there are many different types of Dominate- Submissive relationships including Daddy/Mommy- Little, Dom/Domme- Sub, Master/mistress- Slave, etc. In this post, I will refer to all roles as either Dominate or Submissive. AS it feels rather redundant to me to say “or daddy/little, etc”. There are also those who “switch” I will not be touching that either. This post is mostly made up from information I have taken the time to collect, I will put my personal opinion at the end of each section. ENJOY*
There a many dynamics in all relationships, maybe some day I will write about them all… but by then many new ones will pop up and it will be like trying to do laundry. Here I was given the Challenge to write about “A Dominate having multiple submissives and how they might get along”. SO this is what I will be mostly writing about.
Let’s start off easy with a Monogamous relationship-
It is exactly just what you would imagine. One on one. One Dominate, one submissive. This dynamic has its perks, obviously. Theoretically, you should not have outside relations with anyone else. You have you S/O what else need you? Well, you don’t have to worry about liking the other submissive (I think it is rare that someone would have two dominates, in one relationship, though I am sure this dynamic exists somewhere), and you know that your Dominate will not be playing with other submissives. You also wouldn’t have to worry about fighting for the affection of another or realizing you aren’t enough for the other. Honestly, this is all I personally can really say about this. I prefer Monogamous relationships, but I am not opposed to occasionally bringing in another playmate. Or having a say a group non-sexual play- just a little Live action role play to get things going, and then breaking off alone for the really fun things.
Now for the Polyamorous relationships.
These can be messy and complicated, or they can work extremely well as I have come to find out.
There are pros and cons. Pro- there is no way you could ever be bored, Con- unless you Dominate favors the other submissive more than you. Pro- you grow to love both your dominant and your fellow Submissive- Con- you can’t stand the other submissive.
Con- you feel left out, your Dominate can’t figure out how to balance both of you, leaving one or the other unsatisfied. He can’t ( legally) marry you both (at least not in America). However, you COULD very well do a wedding type ceremony with the three of you if you wanted. (I say three, but there could very well be more, who am I to judge?)
Here is what I have heard from others:
The lady, Whom I have grown to adore who gave me this challenge, is a submissive, she is collared by her sir (they have chosen not to refer to each other as master and slave). She told me, that he has 4 main subs, and she is ok with that, as long as he is honest about all of his partners, However, I do not think they are all in a relationship together. It didn’t sound like it ( feel free to correct me if I have this wrong oh lovely one). This is actually probably the most common type of poly witnessed in the BDSM world, hopefully, the dominate isn’t hiding their sexual activities from you as you have a right to know at the very least whether you should don a condom or not.
The next couple I spoke to, the submissive like the dominate mentioned above has two dominates, and again are NOT in one relationship, which is why I previously stated I felt that specific dynamic must be a BDSM Unicorn dynamic. The two dominates know each other, one is a woman, and one is a man. The submissive, a woman, is legally married to the woman but is bisexual and the wife dominate knows that in order to keep her wife happy and from straying (though she doesn’t worry this would actually happen, she also wants a baby, the male offered his sperm as he feels it’s wasted as he and his wife don’t want children). She must allow her to play with the male dominate everyone once in a while. Once a week, to be exact, they stated that the male dominate is married to a vanilla woman, who is the wife dominates co-worker. It was the Vanilla wife who came to the Domme asking her what to do, she isn’t comfortable with anything beyond light bondage and her husband is a complete sadist. It was Domme who said “This may sound crazy but hear me out.” they all have been in this dynamic for 10 years now. Submissive is also with child. I found this out just now as I was typing! Congratulations to you all.
I have a not so sweet story now. From a dear friend of mine. He is a Dominant. He also has sworn off relationships, Sad because he is hella handsome. He Had two lady submissives. For four-ish years. They met at some party. The girls knew each other and were after my friend, it worked out great he said they were the best subs, he helped put them through the rest of college and took care of ALL of their needs if ya know what I mean. They all three loved each other, he paid them both equal attention, in every aspect of life. I won’t lie, I don’t know exactly what happened, just that the girls turned into drama and stopped doing the things they had been before. I was so sad as I admired their relationship. For him to swear women off as more than an occasional fuck, must have been pretty dramatic.
Everyone else I spoke to about these relationship dynamics, they all had loosely the same types of set ups, so I did not include their stories. I would like to state though, that one of the couples, I spoke too, has been together for 14 years in a poly relationship and don’t for see any failings. And one of my best friends is Poly and it seems to work pretty well for her as she is bisexual and she and waifu want babies so they take and agree up on the others who join their love. Unsure of whether they only pull in males or if they have pulled in a third female, I have only ever heard of the boys. I assume they might have other girls occasionally as she asked me to join them before. Poly relationships can be successful but not any more or any less than a mono relationship it would appear.
I believe in the saying “To each their own”. I will respect you whether you are poly or mono, gay straight bi pansexual, transgender, male, female, robot, alien… as long as your partner is aware of your other partners. As I said before I personally prefer my Mono relationships. I would only pull in another if I trusted my partner fully, and I could get along with the other submissive. I would want the relationship dynamic, not an open relationship.
What Say You?
Whether Vanilla, or Dominate-Submissive, what is your take on mono- poly dynamics?
Also just for funsies: